It's almost the middle of the year and I haven't done half the things I had mapped out. There's been a lot of procrastination as well as lack of motivation. Also, this year I've been feeling somewhat more stressed than usual and have been doing a lot of worrying. Hubs likes to say I always worry about the wrong things. Pray tell me how do I worry about the right things.
My worrying about the wrong things has seeped into my dreams. I often dream I'm running away from danger or trying to hide from danger. Once I hurt my neck because I was running and dodging laser beams in my dreams. No, I couldn't see who was shooting at me. (maybe it was hubs or my children?) I wake up exhausted (because of all the running) and my muscles hurt. Recently I started doing breathing exercises before I sleep and it has helped a little. The dreams are less intense and don't always involve running. Instead now my dreams involve some sort of crafting. Just last night, I was making hundreds of pom poms. It was rather tiring. So I think I should go buy a pom pom kit so that if I dream the pom pom making dream again, at least I have the tools and maybe it won't be so tiring.
I don't know if stress has anything to do with it but I have by some miracle lost lots of fats around my tummy. Usually if I lose any fats, it's around my boobs. Yes, the Universe is mighty cruel flat chested women. I'm feeling f%^&!ing fabulous about my flatter tummy. I'm not saying it's totally flat, just a lot less fleshy. Overall, I haven't lost much weight though. I'm still hovering around 58kg which is not my ideal weight. Ideally, I want to be 55kg but I now accept it's impossible because I simply cannot give up my sweet tea, cakes and biscuits. So I've focused instead on keeping my weight under 60kg and of course keeping fit. My upper body has grown larger permanently, it seems which is not a bad thing. I've dreamed of having a bigger upper body my whole life. Lately I've found it hard to sleep in my Uniqlo T shirts. They feel too small.
I've started sewing quite a bit recently. In the past, sewing has helped me deal with stress and anxiety. I started work on a bag pattern, abandoned it and started another one. I abandoned that one as well and now I'm working on a third bag pattern. This one I'm very likely to publish. When it comes to bag patterns, I have to feel the love or I can't push through. It should be ready in June or July. This year. Haha.
Apart from the bag patterns, I've tried working on other sewing projects. The thing is I keep getting distracted. I jump from project to project. I have to date, abandoned these projects: a bra, a table runner, 2 coasters, a dress with sleeves, another Racerback tee, a bead weaving thing, knitted lace with beads and something with patchwork.
Then one day I remembered I used to enjoy sewing embroideries on plain linen cotton which I turned into drawstring pouches. I still have quite a bit of plain linen cotton lying around and using it up will give me immense pleasure. Finally! A project I could finish. It's true. The embroidery is still enjoyable but it eats up a lot of time! I've completed the drawstring pouch but I'm not loving the drawstring options I have in my stash so a visit to Chinatown will be necessary soon. Does anyone else love making drawstring pouches as much as me? Anyway, I enjoyed making the drawstring pouch so much, I've begun work on a couple more.
I have another one close to finished and this one I just started with the stems. In case you're curious, when I do embroidery, I usually draw freehand with a water soluble pen. I am that kind of lazy.
One day I overcompensated and gave myself the challenge of making a tiny drawstring pouch. Yes, with lining and all and sewn not by hand but with a regular sewing machine. Was it hard? Hmm, hard can't quite describe the terrible, terrible hardship I endured to make this tiny, tiny thing. I don't know what I was trying to prove but I showed them! It took a lot of patience and every swear word I know to get it done. I probably pulled some muscles as well.
Recently, after 3 very long years, my son graduated from a local polytechnic. This guy... it takes a village. My son was good in academics when he was a kid. I thought I had struck the gene lottery when he could read, write and draw at age 2. He was particularly good in Math. I thought he would make an excellent Math teacher. (my dream, not his) Then one day when he was 15, he lost all interest in academics. Lots of not so good stuff happened after that but we managed to survive it all. We took a leap of faith and enrolled him in a polytechnic for a game design diploma. (because he liked to play games so much) As it turned out, it was a good decision. I don't know what the future holds for my son but I hope he makes a lot of money.
My daughter completed one year in university and is currently enjoying an extremely long vacation. (far far too long) Her school has been in the news the past two months. A student,
Monica Baey publicized her frustrations with her university for its soft stand against a fellow student who had filmed her in the shower. The school had also failed to provide victim support for her. This thing really blew up and it even got mentioned in parliament. The universities pledged better security and you would think the voyeurs would lay low. But no, another university had
3 cases of peeping tom while the Monica Baey thing was blowing up. Then last week, at the same school Monica Baey attends, a
peeping tom was caught filming a student in the shower. Despite knowing the school was putting more cameras and improving security, he still committed the act.Has he been getting away with it for so long, he thought he wouldn't be caught. Well, he's been arrested and I could be wrong but I'll bet he won't get off with a slap on the wrist like what happened to Monica Baey's peeping tom.
Last thing. I've often resisted falling for wellness claims. Wellness is a deep black hole that will suck away all your money. In return for all sorts of unproven claims. The past few months has been hell for my dry eyes condition. I went to the polyclinic and after an eye pressure test, it was established I'm in no danger of going blind. So the doctor gave me 2 bottles of eye lubricants and dismissed me. The eye drops did help for a while but soon it was back to square one. In desperation, I bought Omega Vision which claims to help dry eyes. One bottle costs a little over a hundred bucks. Yes, one hundred bucks. But I waited for a sale and paid over seventy bucks for this bottle. Does it work? Not at all. Zero improvement. Basically, I got scammed. Anyway, recently, I discovered how to tackle my dry eyes. Dry eyes are very shifty. They get used to the lubricants and start acting up again. So what I do is switch to a different brand when my eyes feel lousy. And it works. I just hope there are enough brands out there for me to keep my eyes going for I dunno, 30 years?
