Hello,
It's weird to see me here so soon after my last post in December 2025. I'm just as surprised as you are. It has become normal for me to ignore my blog for a whole year. So why am I here? Well, I thought I'll try this blogging thing more regularly for a change. Maybe monthly? I think I can do monthly. I'm a bit disappointed though because my last blog post was barely read by anyone. My previous post before the last one was written in November 2024 and that one had 12,488 views. The post I wrote in December 2025? 126 views. I know I'm not comparing it fairly but still, 126 views is like how many readers? What happened? Where have all my blog readers gone? No one cares if I'm dead or alive anymore?
Since I'm not a logical person, despite the poor views, I decided to go ahead with blogging more regularly.
2026
So how's the year going for everyone? Is it just me or does it feel like a whole year has gone by since the new year started. Like wasn't January a super long month? With so much that has happened around the world, it really feels like enough already. Let's skip ahead and end the year and try for another new year.
MPS
For me, I didn't start the year well. Since last year I've been getting hints (which I ignored) that my myofascial pain syndrome (MPS) may have returned. In MPS, you get pain in your muscles and surrounding tissue. There are trigger points which are usually knots in the muscle. The pain can go from a deep relentless ache to burning and is often accompanied by fatigue. If you've never suffered from MPS and I hope you haven't, you won't understand how awful it is. It's no ordinary muscle pain I can tell you that. I have many, many trigger points on my neck and shoulder and sometimes the upper back. Now and then my jaw gets it too. It's horrible. The trigger points feel like the day after someone had taken a bat and beaten the crap out of me.
I suffered from MPS in the early 2000's for several years and it was really bad for a couple of years. I lost 10 kg. I had to take medication as well as go for physical and mental therapy. Those years were a blur due to the medication I was on. After I recovered, I would get brief periods when the pain would re-surface but each time I managed to recover.
This time around, the MPS looks set to stay. Of course I'm totally to blame. Last year I completely did not exercise. It was really stupid of me because it's really crucial to exercise, to stretch my muscles to ward off MPS. I kept saying I would exercise but the small little attempts weren't enough. I made a feeble attempt to find my old Pilates teacher but couldn't locate her. And that was it.
Well, the MPS finally got so bad I needed to take action. Since the new year, I've started going swimming weekly. Last week I even went twice. What I dislike about swimming is I get new brown spots on my face afterwards. Yes, I do apply sun screen but some of it gets rubbed off during swimming. Have I considered swimming at night? No, because the water would be cold and cause my muscles to tighten and knotted up. Can't have that. Plus, I don't feel comfortable walking about in the dark by myself. I guess I have to live with brown spots and whatever the sun does to my skin. We'll see how much damage the sun does to my face in a month and then I'll decide if risking night swim is worth it.
I also started doing yoga and pilates watching youtube. Is it too little too late? The thing with MPS is it's not like you can exercise a lot and it will fix everything. No. Once MPS is triggered, overdoing exercises or even just doing nothing even keeping still can cause pain. The pain just comes when it wants to come.
When the pain is bad I have no choice but to take painkillers. Of course I don't want to depend on painkillers but enduring the pain is out of the question as it could worsen. Fortunately (??) MPS waxes and wanes. So I have good days and bad days. Sometimes the early part of a day is good while the later part is bad. Thank goodness or I would go mad. I have to fight off anxiety and depression as well because MPS just does stuff to your head. The fatigue is the worst though. You feel weighted down for no good reason.
Right now I'm coping without going to the doctors. I've been down this route before and I really don't like the medication the doctors ask you to take. In the end the medication doesn't cure MPS. Changing my lifestyle is the best thing I can do right now. More gentle exercises and later on I might have to look for a physiotherapist to unknot my knotted muscles. I also started taking magnesium glycinate (supplement) which boasts supporting muscle relaxation as well as support sleep quality. Honestly, I can't tell if the muscle relaxation part works but the sleep part sure doesn't.
Yes, that's me and my tragic chronic muscle problems. Wish me luck in my recovery and sorry for the moaning.
Solo
If you know me, you'll hear me say this often: I like being alone. I like to do stuff alone. I enjoy alone time. But you know what? That's true only for a few hours. I'm actually a social being. I don't mean I'm a sociable person. I mean I need company. I need other beings who are known to me to be around me. I'm in all honesty pretty bad at solo living.
Like this year was the first time I went swimming on my own. Hubs did a trial run with me in case I couldn't find my way. Am I too reliant on hubs for direction? Hubs also showed me how to use the locker which required an online payment. I'm ashamed to confess I'm one of those folks who still pays with cash. (I have a coin pouch in my bag) Well, I've now become quite comfortable with using my phone to make payment even though I find it troublesome.
What other things can't I do alone? I've only gone to the cinema alone once. It was terrifying so I never went again. I've never slept alone so it's not possible for me to travel alone. I can sleep alone in the daytime though. But once night falls, my family had better get home or I'll lose my mind. Of course living alone is out of the question.
When travelling, sometimes I get left in the hotel room by myself for a couple of hours. Believe it or not, it's horrible for me. I cannot enjoy the alone time. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why am I such a scaredy cat?
I can dine alone at food courts or even restaurants. I can shop alone of course. I can take the train on my own. But I don't think I can handle taking a flight by myself. In fact, I hate going through immigration counters alone. So yes, I'm pretty useless doing solo stuff.
Stuff I Made
I showed you the Library Bag in my last post. Here's the video.
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