Friday, July 18, 2014

Perspective

It's Friday! How was your week?

I want to say in some ways, my week is getting better. For a while now, I've been feeling like I'm standing in the middle of a desert and just standing there and waiting to get smacked by whatever comes my way. Sort of feeling helpless, having a loss of control. 

Maybe it's my tendency to look at the worst side of things. Can I blame it on my previous work experience working in software development? You always need to cater to a "worst case scenario". In the event the entire system crashes, here are the steps to take.... Not the best way to deal with real life.

Both my kids are at an age where both have to buckle down on their academics if they want to reach their goals of a university degree. It is an extremely difficult task to manage teenagers. The issue is often I do not know if they are doing what they are supposed to do to stay on track. Most times, I will only find out when they are not. I want to help but I don't know how. I want to nag but they won't let me. I want to advise but it sounds like a nag so they won't listen. So I just watch over them, occasionally dispensing words of "wisdom". This is the part of parenting that often feels like guesswork. How do you help your kids do what they have to do in order to achieve their goals? I still can't figure it out.

I'm really dreading the year end exams. Actually I'm dreading next Friday more. I have to face my son's teachers. It's meet the teachers day. I hope the teachers will strictly adhere to a "no more than 10 minutes" per parent. I don't think I can stomach more than 10 minutes of complaints.

With all my energy concentrated on my kids' schooling, waking them up, getting them to school, getting them to sleep and dealing with daily shenanigans, I felt like I had reached my capacity. Then both my kids had health issues needing investigation. My girl had a mysterious lump on her foot. My son needed his heart checked out at the heart centre. Oh boy, I started to feel like it's one thing after another... What else can go wrong in my life?

Yesterday I felt my perspective changing. Options.

My girl's mysterious lump is still a mystery. But it's not life threatening. We have options. She could live with it or get it removed for 3 grand. I can hear hubs' wallet getting a heart attack. My son's heart issue is still awaiting investigation. He looks strong as a horse. Until we know more, life goes on. I will face my son's teachers bravely. We will hire an army of tutors for him if that's what it takes to wrench better results out of him. I can hear hubs' wallet getting another heart attack.


Watching the Dawn of the planet of the apes yesterday was strangely comforting. Whatever life hands you, some things don't change. Bad boring movies with bad ending. I feel like I've watched this same plot before, maybe not with apes. Seriously, this movie is not worth watching. You'll want to strangle the ending. Or should I say, the non-ending.

If you've read my previous blog post about the controversial removal and decision to destroy three books from the children's library, there's some good news.


The Minister for Communications and Information, Yaacob Ibrahim has instructed the library to place two of the books in question, The White Swan Express and Tango Makes Three in the adult section instead of pulping them. Now, that's a not-bad compromise, an option. 

A third book, Who's In My Family: All About Our Families had already been executed pulped. Yaacob's "stay of execution" came months too late.

I've also started sewing again. Woo hoo! 

10 comments:

Miranda Ixie said...

Destroying books is so very, very awful. But I'm glad they spared the two, even if the third didn't make it.

Good luck with everything. I'm glad to "meet" you here on the internet!

And thanks for the heads up about Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. I was thinking about it, and now I know to just wait for Netflix. :)

- Miri

Aunty Stitches said...

Life has it's up and downs, but it's always a good sign if you are sewing again!

Sharon said...

Love your bag, kids will straighten out and life will be sweet! Chin up Jane!

Sandra :) said...

It's a good sign that you're sewing again - that fabric is totally delicious! As far as the kids go - it DOES get easier - my goal was to make it through their teen years without going totally grey (or bald!) - they're both electricians and one of 'em has his own house, so somewhere along the line we did something right :) It's true, though, that raising kids is like trying to nail jello to a tree!

Linda said...

Raising teens is really hard. There are no magic words to make it easier, I'm afraid. Just don't compromise on what you know to be best for them and some day they will thank you for it. Hard to believe now, but it WILL happen!!!

Christel Goh said...

Hi Jane, hope your kids will be fine! :) I guess even as a teen, I (can roughly) understand how tough it is to be a parent. Like, I know when my mum nags at us, she means well. But sometimes it just gets a bit too much, and we start "talking back". :\

Kate said...

How can you not feel better after sewing a lovely bag like that one! I remember being in the place where you are now. Despite all my efforts, my kids did grow up and are now successful adults. Have faith.

Ms Nora said...

The bag looks so pretty !

Laurie-Jane said...

One day at a time. Your kids are lucky you are their Mum.

Jane said...

i like how you gained perspective on everything. and good luck on the teacher meeting. is it today? i have been out of the whole blogging world for a bit and just catching up with everything. hope you have a wonderful weekend as well~

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