Dear readers,
I have a very important announcement to make. A poll by research and analytics firm Gallup has unearthed this very astounding and earth-shattering fact about Singaporeans. That we are the LEAST EMOTIONAL COUNTRY IN THE WORLD! Go here and have a look.
Readers from Georgia (the country), Lithuania, Russia, Madagascar (hey, this is a real country!), Ukraine, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Nepal and Kyrgyzstan (not to be mistaken for Kazakhstan) you can stop smirking because your countries are very close behind Singapore in the emotion-deficit.
Residents were polled with such questions:
1. Did you feel well-rested yesterday?
Hmm... Let me see. I'm sewing frantically for my Christmas craft market which I have to because otherwise I will lose the rent money. So, no. I did not feel well-rested yesterday.
2. Were you treated with respect all day yesterday?
I live with 2 teenagers who are also my biological children. I don't think so.
3. Did you laugh or smile a lot yesterday?
I live with 2 teenagers who are also my biological children. Next question!
4. Did you learn or do something interesting yesterday?
Yes, yesterday I learnt that if I eat food that I cook myself I feel very hungry the whole day. I feel hungry even when I'm asleep.
5. Did you experience the following feelings during a lot of the day yesterday? How about (enjoyment, physical pain, worry, sadness, stress, anger?)
I enjoy sewing but constantly sewing is a real pain. Also I worry I took the wrong babies home from the hospital. This led to stress and anger.
I noticed Singaporeans were unemotional but I had no idea we were the least emotional! Wow! Did any of you guys notice my lack of emotions?
Like a true unemotional Singaporean, I shall embrace The Least Emotional Country In The World title and from now on, I shall show as little emotion as possible. We don't want to lose the title to Georgia, Lithuania, Russia, Madagascar, Ukraine, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Nepal or Kyrgyzstan!
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I have lunchtime pouches coming out of my nostrils
Ladies,
Have I told you guys how hard my work is?
I have to do a lot of fabric shopping. It's not an easy job. So many choices, so many designers, so many colours, so many different textures to choose from. It's difficult work. Not many can do it.
On top of stroking the fabric to ensure the best quality is bought, I have to sometimes roll around in them, just to soften them up.
Every day I have to make tough decisions regarding sales. Yes, I'm talking about all the constant sales the fabric shops are having. Especially the year end ones. It's crazy. Recently Spoonflower had a worldwide shipping day. I mean, what the hell is that, right? I have enough problems finding time to attend all the sales in Singapore. One week I received a 30% discount. Right after that, the same shop sent a 40% discount card. And what's up with the pre-Christmas, Christmas and renovation sale? Yep, one tough decision after another.
Buying the fabric is the easy part compared to working with the fabric.
Take the patchwork lunchtime pouches I had to deal with recently. They were such a pain to work with. All the fabric I have insisted on auditioning for spots. I had to decide who's in and who's out. It got really tiring gazing at all the eager prints.
Like I said, it wasn't easy but it had to be done. I finally decided on the final 25 prints. Not all the prints got along. So once again, I had to be the matured one and paired the agreeable ones together.
Even so, sometimes the bickering got bad and I let them fight it out.
Next I had to decide on the lining. Riley Blake, Michael Miller and even Amy Butler came calling. The Japanese fabric passed. They preferred to be the main fabric! Sniff. I'm not sure I like their attitude.
After much careful thinking, I decided to eeny meeny miny moe.
Keeping the pouches entertained when it was work-in-progress took up most of my time.
Honestly, they're acted like princesses. Me! Me! Me! Always.
Finally they're completed. All 10 princesses. Each one is one of a freaking kind. (OOAFK) Can't wait to sell them so I never have to look at them again. And guess who decided to join the party? A much neglected Bear. I think he had a bit too much fun.
Thought I'll show the pouch bottoms. (It was Bear's idea)
Bear proved to be difficult when it came time to put away the pouches. He refused to do the carrying. This is his "Who me?" look.
Bear doing his SULK.
Did I mention how hard my work is?
Oh, I made a few non-patchwork lunchtime pouches as well. So I have a grand total of 20.
Go to www.projectsbyjane.com if you want a closer look at the pouches.
p.s. if you want to make your own lunchtime pouches, you can. my pattern available here (without the patchwork instructions - just sew a few pieces of fabric together duh):
Etsy via email
Craftsy via instant download.
73 out of 74 projects completed. (1 more to go baby)
Have I told you guys how hard my work is?
I have to do a lot of fabric shopping. It's not an easy job. So many choices, so many designers, so many colours, so many different textures to choose from. It's difficult work. Not many can do it.
On top of stroking the fabric to ensure the best quality is bought, I have to sometimes roll around in them, just to soften them up.
Every day I have to make tough decisions regarding sales. Yes, I'm talking about all the constant sales the fabric shops are having. Especially the year end ones. It's crazy. Recently Spoonflower had a worldwide shipping day. I mean, what the hell is that, right? I have enough problems finding time to attend all the sales in Singapore. One week I received a 30% discount. Right after that, the same shop sent a 40% discount card. And what's up with the pre-Christmas, Christmas and renovation sale? Yep, one tough decision after another.
Buying the fabric is the easy part compared to working with the fabric.
Take the patchwork lunchtime pouches I had to deal with recently. They were such a pain to work with. All the fabric I have insisted on auditioning for spots. I had to decide who's in and who's out. It got really tiring gazing at all the eager prints.
Like I said, it wasn't easy but it had to be done. I finally decided on the final 25 prints. Not all the prints got along. So once again, I had to be the matured one and paired the agreeable ones together.
Even so, sometimes the bickering got bad and I let them fight it out.
Next I had to decide on the lining. Riley Blake, Michael Miller and even Amy Butler came calling. The Japanese fabric passed. They preferred to be the main fabric! Sniff. I'm not sure I like their attitude.
After much careful thinking, I decided to eeny meeny miny moe.
Keeping the pouches entertained when it was work-in-progress took up most of my time.
Honestly, they're acted like princesses. Me! Me! Me! Always.
Finally they're completed. All 10 princesses. Each one is one of a freaking kind. (OOAFK) Can't wait to sell them so I never have to look at them again. And guess who decided to join the party? A much neglected Bear. I think he had a bit too much fun.
Thought I'll show the pouch bottoms. (It was Bear's idea)
Did I mention how hard my work is?
Oh, I made a few non-patchwork lunchtime pouches as well. So I have a grand total of 20.
Go to www.projectsbyjane.com if you want a closer look at the pouches.
p.s. if you want to make your own lunchtime pouches, you can. my pattern available here (without the patchwork instructions - just sew a few pieces of fabric together duh):
Etsy via email
Craftsy via instant download.
73 out of 74 projects completed. (1 more to go baby)
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
So, did you take the right baby home?
Ladies,
If you have at one point in your life given birth in Singapore at KK Hospital, you need to do the following:
1. Have a large cup of tea/coffee/vodka/whatever.
2. Carefully examine the features of your child. Check if child resembles you or your husband. Do take care when examining closely the features of any child age above 12. They may scream at you.
3. If you have doubts the child you have raised is yours, please sit down and have another cup of tea/coffee/vodka/whatever.
Here's what happened. In today's newspapers, KK hospital revealed it had SCREWED UP. Two families were given wrong babies. On Sunday morning, a new mother checked out of the hospital with the wrong baby. She had no idea because as you know, all newborns look alike. Five hours later, the first baby's real mother checked out of the hospital with the first woman's baby. She too had no idea because as you know, all newborns look alike. This second woman was more alert though. When she reached home, she saw that the id tags around both ankles did not both have her name. One had her name and the other had the real mother's name. I think this woman deserves an award. Let's give her The Most Alert Mother award. If she had thrown away both tags instead of checking them, it would have been a very sad story.
KK Hospital's CEO said the error was the first time ever and it'll be the last. Because he said it was the first time the error had occurred, I'm going to believe him because he is the CEO. However, he failed to say errors could have occurred without anyone discovering them. So, to all the mothers of the 1.4 million babies delivered since 1858 at KK hospital, if you like your child/children, do nothing. If you don't like your child/children (especially if they are hooligans, gangsters or went to jail or are mean to you), get a DNA test. Okay, I'm kidding about the DNA test. Just have another cup of tea/coffee/vodka/whatever. You'll live.
p.s. I did not give birth at KK hospital but I will have the cup of tea/coffee/vodka/whatever anyway.
If you have at one point in your life given birth in Singapore at KK Hospital, you need to do the following:
1. Have a large cup of tea/coffee/vodka/whatever.
2. Carefully examine the features of your child. Check if child resembles you or your husband. Do take care when examining closely the features of any child age above 12. They may scream at you.
3. If you have doubts the child you have raised is yours, please sit down and have another cup of tea/coffee/vodka/whatever.
Here's what happened. In today's newspapers, KK hospital revealed it had SCREWED UP. Two families were given wrong babies. On Sunday morning, a new mother checked out of the hospital with the wrong baby. She had no idea because as you know, all newborns look alike. Five hours later, the first baby's real mother checked out of the hospital with the first woman's baby. She too had no idea because as you know, all newborns look alike. This second woman was more alert though. When she reached home, she saw that the id tags around both ankles did not both have her name. One had her name and the other had the real mother's name. I think this woman deserves an award. Let's give her The Most Alert Mother award. If she had thrown away both tags instead of checking them, it would have been a very sad story.
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KK Hospital's CEO said the error was the first time ever and it'll be the last. Because he said it was the first time the error had occurred, I'm going to believe him because he is the CEO. However, he failed to say errors could have occurred without anyone discovering them. So, to all the mothers of the 1.4 million babies delivered since 1858 at KK hospital, if you like your child/children, do nothing. If you don't like your child/children (especially if they are hooligans, gangsters or went to jail or are mean to you), get a DNA test. Okay, I'm kidding about the DNA test. Just have another cup of tea/coffee/vodka/whatever. You'll live.
p.s. I did not give birth at KK hospital but I will have the cup of tea/coffee/vodka/whatever anyway.
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