Those of you who are Chinese probably remember 12th June as the Dumpling Festival or some call it Dragon Boat Festival. Not me. I will forever remember 12th June 2013 as the day a toothpaste tried to kill me.
Before I get into the how? what? hah?, how did you celebrate the Dragon Boat Festival? I personally never think of it as the Dragon Boat Festival. For me, it has always been about eating meat dumplings which my mother used to make. She bitched a lot while making them so I often felt obliged to eat them. Thank goodness she stopped making them when she got older. My MIL still makes them but it's hubs' duty to eat them. Hahahaha.
Never seen meat dumplings? I stole a pic from one of my facebook friends (Alice). Just for you.
standard lunch/dinner at my MIL
Anyhoos, after a lunch at my MIL's, I suppose to celebrate the festival, (although no dumpling eating was involved), me and the kids headed home to do some serious cleaning. The kids washed the two bathrooms while I washed the laundry room and the kitchen. After that, I cooked dinner, cleaned the fridge, sewed something, cleaned the microwave oven and finally decided to call it a night. I know it sounds like a lot of stuff and I assure you we are rarely in this kind of cleaning mood.
I assume everyone brushes your teeth before bed and trust me when I say I won't judge if you don't (actually I do) and I saw that the toothpaste was almost run out and on account I'm dead tired, I decided to get a new tube.
I looked up the shelf above my head and saw a box of toothpaste perched on top of a roll of toilet paper. I reached out to get it and the minute my hand touched the box, a tube of toothpaste slid out of the box and whacked me on my head. It hit me with such force that I screamed with pain. It was like someone had hit me with a rock as big as a watermelon. My girl came running and handed me a icepack. I kept on screaming. I felt as if my head had shattered. Eventually I calmed down enough to yes, brush my teeth and then went to bed.
What really worried me about being whacked on the head was that when I was 21, I was whacked on the right side of my head by someone holding a weight in the gym and I went deaf in my right ear. I know it sounds ridiculous but that's what happened to me and since then every time I got whacked in the head I would go crazy with fear.
The next day I told hubs about the killer toothpaste and you know what he said? He had just a day or two ago looked at the box of toothpaste and wondered if it was empty. He reached out to check and when he saw there was a tube of toothpaste inside the box, he decided to let it be. But he did consider moving the box to another location as he wondered if it would fall and hit Jane on her head. Well, he thought about it for a minute and decided I was TOO TALL for the toothpaste to injure.
Something else puzzled me. So I asked him why he put the toothpaste on top of the roll of toilet paper and not on the shelf which is less likely to fall like an asteroid on his wife's head, he said he wanted it to be visible. Which don't make sense as his VERY TALL wife would have no problem seeing it in the first place.
I seriously need to grow taller. And yes, my head still hurts.