Friday, January 20, 2012

Things to do and buy

It's no longer acceptable to mock your own culture. This kid uploaded a video to youtube dissing Chinese New Year and the response from netizens is not pretty. 

Last year I would probably have written a post titled "10 reasons why I hate Chinese New Year". But that's the old me. This year I'm a new me. And this new me is opting to be positive particularly on Chinese things. Say hello to the 2012 Jane.

With that in mind, here are the 10 things to do before Chinese New Year.

1. Get new hair

Yes, it took 3 hours.
Yes, I look the same.
Yes, I no longer look this NEAT. (this pic was taken one day after the hair styling)
Yes, I now have wake-up-hair. Don't know what that is? Ever looked at yourself in the mirror when you wake up? That's wake-up hair.

2. Get new footwear

It's possible I may have bought too many. But the post-Christmas and pre-Chinese New Year sales were too good to miss. The slippers on the left cost $15 each! Every year, I wait patiently for my Ipanema slippers to go on sale. The pair on the right were discounted. Yay!

3. Get new clothes

I have 2 red tees. The monkey tee is at least a year old tho'. When it was bought, the manufacturer highly under-estimated my beefiness. If I can't squeeze into it, I have a backup tee which makes me look rather mannish.
For bottoms, I'm torn between a Topshop high waisted (what was I thinking!) pair of jeans which is still tight around the waist and a Aeropostale low waisted flannel pants (buy 1 get 1 free).

4. Spring clean
As good as done. I'm tired.
Every year I find I'm the only person in my home doing the cleaning even tho' I live with 3 other able-bodied human beings. A word of not open the storeroom. You may never find your way out again.

This year I went a little overboard and decided to fix the embarrassingly torn swivel chair.

I used fabric remnants from my bag to sew a cover. Word of advice: don't look under the chair. I hand sewed the cover together. Not pretty.

5. Buy Mandarin oranges
Sigh. I'm short of 2 oranges.

These 2 Mandarin oranges came home with my son. Unfortunately I need 2 more. I tried buying from the supermarket but the queue was so long that I gave up. There is a shorter queue if you buy a whole crate. But what am I gonna do with an entire crate of Mandarin oranges?

6. Bake cookies
I'm on a diet so it's not happening. Okay, I'm lazy.

7. Buy Chinese New Year goodies
I bought some pumpkin seeds but I already ate them all.

8. Stuff money into red packets

Still on the to-do list.

9. Check out God of Fortune

It is also unacceptable to mock the God of Fortune. Like call his depiction creepy. This version of God of Fortune was on stilts and giving out brochure. Seriously, I'm not going to comment on how tacky that is. All I'm saying is his costume smelled awfully bad.

10. Stop and smell the plastic flowers

The old me would have said: What is it about Chinese New Year that brings out the fake, plastic flowers?

But 2012 Jane says:

Very pretty fake looking flowers with nice lanterns.

2012 Jane: Yay, more pretty fake looking flowers.

2012 Jane: My, my, more pretty fake looking something.

2011 Jane: China called. They want all plastic fake looking flowers and weird flying saucer lanterns returned immediately.


Sarah@PingsAndNeedles said...

Oh Jane - what a wonderful wonderful post. I snorted tea through my nose and everything!

manufacturers always underestimate my beefiness!

Nice to see that you're grasping the thorns of 2012 so fearlessly! xxx

Anonymous said...

I still think Chinese New Year is tacky.

Jenny said...

Jane you are so Funny!

Dee said...

HAhahahahah...Jane i laughed so hard that I had to take a trip to the little room.

Little Blue Mouse said...

I sense you're not 100% positive on this!

What are four oranges for?

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