Sunday, July 10, 2011

bad water

Hello dear friends,

It's been a really hot week in Singapore. How's the weather in your country? Things got heated up in Singapore this week over a song.

Once a year in Singapore, we have a parade/performance to celebrate National Day (9th August). A locally composed national day parade song which every kid in Singapore is forced to learn is usually part of the deal. This year, for a change, Lady Gaga's Bad Romance was chosen. Not a bad choice except the lyrics were re-written and it became the Fun Pack Song. You can go here if you want to see the lyrics.

A fun pack is really just a glam-term for a goodie bag/door gift. The organisers are quite generous. It's stuffed with lots of sponsored items.

Anyhoo, long story short, a video of the song during a rehearsal went viral and of course everyone poke fun at the song. The original video has been pulled but here are 2 other versions.

This is the animated version.

This is the acoustic version by art fazil.

The ndp organisers finally decided to drop the song totally after much consideration.

It is anybody's guess why a national day parade song is dedicated to a fun pack. Lady Gaga and her hair who were in Singapore this week was quite kind in her comments. She thought it was "great" that the lyrics to her hit was changed to celebrate fun pack items like sweets, biscuits and Newater.

Wait a minute! Did I hear Newater?

Here's the lyrics to the Newater bit.
I want Newater and I want a cold drink
You and me, let's share a bit
I want a biscuit and I want a sweet
You and me, let's share this treat
Okay, folks. I object. I object to "I want Newater". Seriously, do people really want Newater? In this universe?

In case you do not know, Newater is not new water. It's old water. It's recycled sewage water. Oh, go read about it here and here. Years ago, when Newater was introduced to Singapore, I was quite turned off and was determined never to think about it further. Because the idea of drinking pee water (and I'm being kind here) is something that requires a few decades of psychological care. But in those days, Newater was not for human consumption but mainly for industrial purposes. Over the years, Newater has been bottled and given away free to promote its use. But it's still your choice to drink it and as long as you don't look at the label carefully, you could easily think you're drinking Mountain Dew. Heads up, parents of school kids. The free bottles of water at school events could be Newater.

On Wednesday, I saw this table in the papers which disturbed me greatly.

Mathematically, the table completely doesn't make sense to me. But never mind. What struck me was that Newater is currently contributing up to 30% to Singapore's water. 30% sounds like a lot, doesn't it?

So, does that mean I'm drinking Newater from the tap? Am I already drinking recycled pee water? (and I'm still being kind) When I have my fabulous shower and water is running down my hair, my face, am I washing myself with recycled pee water?

All these questions are going through my head and you can understand my concern? Years of psychological damage, I tell you!

Okay, now that I've calmed down, 30% might not be that much. I mean it's like a drop in the ocean. Don't argue with me now. I'm trying to make myself feel better. Besides, it's processed millions of times. Trillions! Right? Right? The table also says that by 2061, Newater would contribute 50% of the water required. Me hubs assured me I would be dead by then.

Right now, I'm unsure if Newater goes into my tap water. I want to fool myself. And I'm trying very hard to block it out of my brain.  But one thing for sure. Some things are best left TOP SECRET.

In the spirit of making myself feel better, I've written a fun, satirical song. Here goes.....

Bad Water sung badly to the tune of Fun Pack Song by Jane Poh
It's time for my shower
Alone time with bad water
Let's do it with no crying
That's right grab your towel
It's the bad water shower
Ey, better than corpse water

Hold up your head, let the water run
You can fight it, just don't vomit
Let's wash that hair
Scrub scrub scrub
Let's wash your mouth
Stick out your tongue, go on and gargle
It's processed water, means not toilet water
Just pretend
Oh oh oh... It's Malaysia water

(SPOKEN in sexy deep voice)
You know that I am silly
And you know that I got no choice
This country got no water leh

But I want clean water and I want it new
Nobody used before
I want a drink and I want it fresh
Nobody peed in before

O o o o o o o o o no
Time to drink water
O o o o o o o o o why
I no like bad water

Let's start with the pee
I'm sure you got rid of it
Actually it's the shit
I'm more worried

O o o o o o o o o no
Time to drink water
O o o o o o o o o why
I no like bad water


Bethany said...

Oh. My goodness. You crack me up!!!!!! Gives a whole new meaning to "It must be something in the water..." Maybe you don't have that saying there, but every time I hear it now I'm going to think of you and Newater.

Miranda said...

Ha Ha! Your song is funny! I'm not going to think about the pee water..

Little Blue Mouse said...

Ha ha!
When I read the title I thought this post was going to be about the dead body in the tank again!
I can understand your concerns but it says in the write up that it's used in industries that need the purest of pure water, so my guess is it's pretty pure.

Loved your words to the Fun Pack song.
Great post.

punkychewster said...

omg you crack me up! my motto is "just drink, don't think!"

tamdoll said...

When I read your version of the song, I laughed out loud when I read "Ey, better than corpse water". Now that was funny because it really happened. (It's not really funny, but, it made me laugh.)

It was a little strange to hear a song about a fun pack, but still nice that everyone gets involved in what happens in the celebrations. We don't have entire communities showing up for celebrations - that would be nice.

I'm not even going to think about Newater. I'm already concerned about half the things we eat and drink and all the chemicals everywhere. At least it's natural... right????

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