Pardon me, I left my supermodel body behind in year 2000

Yesterday would have been a great day. I went to collect my Christmas craft market cheque. The trip alone took 1.5 hours travelling time on the train including  2 train transfers. That's just one way. But as long as there's a cheque at the end of the journey, I think it's worth the time.

After I had collected my cheque, I decided to go shopping. I was alone and had money. Ha ha! I felt on top of the world. No one around to tell me what I should or shouldn't buy.

Top of the list, I had an item I needed to get. A swimming costume. Since the beginning of the year and yes I know it's only the 18th of January, I've been on a lose weight crusade. Why do you think I've been jogging my ass off? I certainly don't jog for the fun of it. And it's 5km. Not like, say, 3km. <snigger> Last year I really saw the weight and fats pile up on me. I want to use the excuse that age is catching up. But I got really lazy.

Anyway, I've decided to add swimming to my lose weight regime. Do you think I enjoy swimming? I can barely keep afloat in the first place. But yes, I'm capable of swimming from one end of the pool to the other. My thinking is swimming might just help to trim off some fats from places that jogging cannot reach. Like the tummy. And the arms. And the thighs. And the ass.

Well, that's the plan, more or less. Jogging and swimming and in no time, my blobs of fats will melt away.

But first I had to get a new swimming costume because my old one was sadly made for Jane2000. I spotted this shop selling Arena swimming costume. It's one of those small boutique. It had 50% discount and 20% discount plastered all over the shop. It would please hubs because he loves a good sale. I tackled the 50% items first. I went through every item. Then I heard the shopkeeper saying: "All one piece." in the most uninterested voice.

I asked if all the one piece sizes were the same size.

Shopkeeper shrugged. I couldn't tell if it was a yes or a no. So I went through every item to look at the size. I had to bring the label close to my face because I couldn't see so well. I guess doing that really annoyed the shopkeeper because she started re-arranging the items I had touched. "All one piece." she said again. I finally found a size that was large enough for me so I grabbed it.

I wasn't gonna enter the fitting room with just one item so I looked at the 20% discount rack. I finally found one I liked and was about to enter the fitting room when the shopkeeper handed me the second one I wanted in a bigger size. "This one biggest. For you." she said meaningfully looking me up and down and sideways.

What!

I was starting to understand what was going on. She thinks I'm too freaking fat to fit into her swimming costumes!

I tried the "one piece" only costume and demmit. It was too small for me. I blame my towering height. Then I tried the "biggest" piece recommended for me. The bottom was alright. But the top was clearly made for someone far, far chestier than me. I mean, there was a huge gap between the straps when I put it on. In fact the gaps are so huge you could see Russia through them.

I told the shopkeeper the "biggest" size was too big for me and she gave this incredulous look. "Too big? How can?" Then she did the meaningful look of up-down-sideways.

I looked around some more. Now I had a better sense of what size fitted me. It was between the "biggest" and the "one piece".

I spotted another bunch of 50% off and was merrily going through the sizes when the shopkeeper came up and said in her uninterested voice, "One piece only." She re-arranged the pieces I had touched and kept shaking her head.

Finally it dawned on me. The shopkeeper thinks I'm too fat to fit into any of the "one piece" as there are not bigger sizes she could give to me.

I felt a little humiliated but I needed a swimming costume. So I tried the pricer ones which had a 15% discount. I chose a couple and asked to try them. The shopkeeper immediately took out the "biggest" size and I protested. I told her it would not fit me around my chest. "Really?" she said. Like I would lie about that. Finally she found the size I wanted and practically threw the costumes at me.

I think if I weren't alone, I would have stomped out of the shop. But there was no one to see my humiliation and I so badly wanted a swimming costume. I entered the fitting room. This time very sadly because I was thinking if the costumes were too small, it meant the nasty little shopkeeper was right. Well, she was right. They were both too tight on me. I could hardly breathe when I was wearing them. I took off the costumes and gave them to the shopkeeper keeping guard outside the fitting room. She did not even look at me. She knew.

I was close to tears. But it was my fault. I did leave my supermodel body behind in year 2000.

After leaving Arena boutique, I saw another shop Sportslink opposite. I entered thinking if anyone even hinted I was too fat I would scream.

Surprise. The sales people did not hover. One man came to explain how the sizes work and where the fitting room was. He said I could try as many as I like. What?

Did you guys hear that? I could try as many as I like. Even the ones that were clearly too small for me. Even the ones that fat Jane couldn't squeeze into. 

This was what I bought. There are no gaps under my straps when I wear it so you can't see Russia. Best part. It was discounted.

I also discovered God had invented TUMMY CONTROL swimwear so us ladies need not suck in our tummies when we swim.

So I got my swimming costume. Now I need to go swim.