Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Forever young

It's funny how our brains work. I was going through my stock and thinking to myself I don't have enough pencil cases (yes, I know it's another zip pouch). For pencil cases, I like to pull out my remnants otherwise how else is one to use up all the fabric? The next thing I knew, I was making lunchtime pouches!

The fabric I wanted to use, I guess I felt they looked better on a lunchtime pouch.

The colour combination is a little different from what I usually go for. I was a little tired today. See, I didn't even bother to poof up my pouches for Show-N-Tell. I'm trying out a new medication for my ultra sensitive nose and this morning I woke up so late to get the kids ready for school. I have a neighbour who smokes like a chimney. The smoke really hurts my nose. I'm quite sure I'll die of lung cancer. It would kill me if I did.

I meant to use contrasting bottoms but for one of the pouches, I totally forgot. I paused for 1 second and decided it was not worth the effort to unpick. I don't feel crabby or cranky. Just sinkingly tired.

Maybe it's the 2 parent-teacher meetings I have to attend this week that's getting me down. I really dread these sessions. No good ever came out of these meetings. I usually leave with negative feelings towards my kids. Do I really have to go?

Perhaps it's all due to the new drug and my resistance to the parent-teacher meetings. But lately I've started to feel really down when I go for my exercises and I see my special trees. See, when I first moved to this area 14 years ago, these little trees were tiny. I actually thought they were bonsai trees. Of course they looked too big for bonsai but compared to regular trees, they were miniature.

There is an entire row of these trees next to the exercise machines. I guess I got so used to the trees that I took them for granted and did not observe them as carefully as I did in the early years. Recently, I was at the exercise machines when it hit me.

The  trees were no longer miniature! Look at the image above. The trees are taller than the guy. I know it sounds crazy to care this much about some trees but I felt so cheated. I really made myself believe the trees would stay little forever. I almost cried. It felt like my heart broke a little.

I took a look at the plaque below the trees and it said "Malayan Banyan". I wiki it and yes, it's gonna be a freaking large tree. There are a total of 3 or 4 of these trees.

Maybe it's not really the trees growing that's making me sad. When I first moved here, my kids were still little. My girl was born in my current home. Now they're teens. Kids growing up is a natural thing. You want that to happen. Perhaps I wanted the trees to stay miniature so I could have some moments in my life where time stands still. Or maybe I just want to feel like I'm forever young?

Or maybe it's the new drug messing me up.

Oh, did I tell you I like this pouch? The bottom matches the trim. It's cute. Later alligator.


Linda said...

It's natural to feel a little nostalgic when we realize our kids are growing up and we're getting older. But if you're feeling real depression over it, it MIGHT be your medicine. You should tell your doctor. A lot of medicines have that side effect. If you have to take it anyway, find something to look forward to in the future. Set a goal to reach.
I love your little lunch bags, by the way! You do such lovely work! All your projects are so good!

Kandi said...

I love your little pouches, my fave is the one with the flowers and polka dots. I really should make more of them from your pattern but I'm so freakin lazy!
Kandi x

Arriel Goodwin said...

Hi Jane! I love your bags - they are the cutest things ever!!!

Laurie-Jane said...

I have been having a similar week to you my daughter is 11 and spends a lot of time crying and is having the usual issues young girls have with school friends, it makes me want to go to the school and trip them up I'm sure I could make it look like an accident. I have the same feeling as you do about the tree/children you know they have to grow up it's the right thing but it happens when you are not looking. Your post has struck a chord with me today thanks Jane. I hope the medication works, my husband has been given something for his migraines and hooray it works he's been headache free for a week. sending my best wishes your way.

antmee said...

Definitely could be the new drug. They can take some time to kick in so don't give up just yet. After a month or two if things don't seem better tell your doctor to try you on something else.

Ask your kids if they will get any benefit from your going to parent/teacher meetings eg just want you there.
If I could do things over again I would not go as I don't think they are worth the time. Also check how important their school thinks it is because in my country a child was suspended from school for a few days because the parents didn't go. So they punished the student! That school's principle needs a good wack in the balls with a dead chook.

佩仪pueyyee said...

hi Jane, really like your new lunch pouches. The fabrics matched perfectly and it makes one feel cheerful.

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